Daydream Believer

My teenage heartthrob Davy Jones died of a heart attack last week at age 66. I sat upright from the newspaper, suddenly remembering the life size poster of Davy Jones that I had taped to the backside of my bedroom door at age 12 or so . . . his dark brown hair, straight and shiny and longish, with bangs nearly to his eye lashes – his clear skin, bright impish eyes and mouth – oh, that mouth . . . did I not kiss that paper mouth till the lips might have sagged or collapsed from the slobbery pressure of my own lips . . . Davy Jo-o-o-o-nes . . . I would swoon.  That’s what young girls do – or did back in the 60s, anyway.

I had him positioned at a height two or three inches above my own. Davy Jones, a former jockey, was in real life only 5’3 or so. I might have already been taller than that at age 12, and so his paper feet floated several inches above my floor in order to accommodate the fantasy. He was wearing a deep maroon Nehru shirt with some glitzy trim on the edges, and the background of the poster was red – very impassioned.  I loved Davy Jones, the Monkee. I would use my paltry allowance money, walk to the only drugstore in our little town, and buy whatever new ‘45’ was on the market – “I’m a Believer,” “Daydream Believer,” “Pleasant Valley Sunday” . . .

I would rush through dinner on the nights that his TV show aired, run to the El-Khouri’s house (there were five girls in that large family) so we could watch the latest episode together. We each had our favorite Monkee, and strangely I had little competition for Davy. We’d talk for awhile after the show, maybe listen to some of the music I had brought with me, then I’d reflectively walk home in the dark night, humming to myself, “I’m a Believer . . . “ or whatever song I couldn't get out of my mind.  I’d be incited with new passions by the way he had moved on the screen – or grinned – or twinkled an eye at me – or even frowned at stupid Peter or Mickey.  He was the Monkee who really understood about daydreams and believing and all that real life stuff.  I was haunted by the desire to grow up and get out of that small town and become . . . well, a writer. What did Davy Jones have to do with a daydreamy teenage girl wanting to be a writer?

I wrote the first short stories of my youth in that bedroom, and I would pause all the while to glance over at his impish face looking back at me with the expression that never changed. There was something steadfast and promising and . . . believable in his expression.  Somehow, in my memory, Davy Jones is entwined with my first efforts to write.

As I continued reading the newspaper article last week, I learned that the Monkees wrote none of the songs which made them famous – humble Neil Diamond wrote many of them – and they were not allowed to play their own instruments. In fact, Davy was the only Monkee who could actually carry a tune well enough to sing! They were cast as actors first of all – actors acting as musicians. I never knew any of that in my youth.  That paper poster taped to my bedroom door with Davy's feet floating three inches above the floor was pretty close to real life, I guess.  But strangely, I’m not disappointed at all.